08.27.08

Cant sleep

Posted in another crazy day in my life at 7:09 am by kanadra

   I cant sleep i keep thinking about how i dont matter. The only pepole who would miss me is family and the only three that i would turly effect is may mom, chris, and dave. Mom is the real reason I keep trying to keep going. 

   I just cant see a reason for me to be here. I have impacted no ones life. I cant hold down a job any more it seems. I just get so tired of lies let downs. The let downs are some times my own doing. Not sure what to do with my self. 

   I think its time to make some changes but what . everything i have done so fare is wait and see. Thats not paying the bills. Its may house and lot rent that i am concerned about. Not sure wither to walk away form my home or keep trying. If i walk away i have no where to go except my moms or kens and i dont like either option. Ken has a dog and he lives nastier then i do. You cant breathe in moms home and she lives more clutter and full of smoke and junk then i would ever dream of doing. I would like to unload a few things my self but know one comes here for yard sales.

   Im am just so tired and up set tonight.  will i should try to go back to bed now. May be i can slow my thinking down now. 

New job or lack of

Posted in WORK at 1:28 am by kanadra

  What a flop. They kept saying my drug test had not come in. Will now one week and a few days they now tell me that the other auditor will be staying. Ok now explain to me why she was doing audit if the auditor was still their. I asked here when she found out she said to day. i stated that i would have be mad if i had been setting on my ass waiting if she had know earlier. At that she said she would be hanging up if i cursed i said i did not mean to and she said you did and i am hanging up now. 

 

 Will i want to know if she still had her auditor why was she or is doing audit. I really think she had me hanging. I don’t know why if she did not want me she just didnt say so. Why leave some one out their thinking they have a job and not. I could have been looking still or better yet working. What in gods name did i do to her to treat me like this. or any one who comes in to apple for a job. just tell them if you change your mind or somthing happens you can not use them pepole have bill and family depending on them. I can only hope that she will think twice in the future. 

  So now i am back to the drawing board. Once again i have know one to talk about this because Chris is not answering her phone. I still feel like if i could have talked with here before i walked out on work i would still be working. At least putting in a notice. Then again may be not. Cant blame what i do on some one else ,I really wasn’t i just think if i could have talked thought some of my thoughts i would not have been so upset thats all.