Will every thing seems to be going ok. for now. I got my work book done and now training on the front desk. It was a very pain full night. My ankle  has been killing me all night. I can hardly walk on it right now. My big toe has been killing me also. I can just set and pain will throb in and out. I am getting really tired of living with so much pain. I some times wonder how people who have less then i do manage. I will say I am quickly become one of the very poor. I have lost me propane  heat for the winter. I still owe 1200.00 from last yr. Since i have been out of work I have fallen behind in my electric bill. I was hopping united would help they said they would. They ran out of funding before i got my shut off notice in the mail. I borrowed 100.00 from a pay day loan place so that i could send some money to them in hope that would delay the shut off till i get payed on friday. We will find out tomorrow. 

  Did i say i was really tired. I now have 4 kittens that live in my driveway. There mom is a ferrel cat. she brought them to me two weeks ago i think it was. It stated out as five lost one in a rain storm. I believe i will lose another one soon. she is having trouble voiding and i have seen her throw up. She is very skinny . All the kittens have pussy eyes but heres are the worst. I clean their eyes out twice a day when i can. I just feel so bad i cant help them. All i can do is watch nature take its course. Its so hard to stand by when all you know is its money that stands in the way. 

   Well i think i cried enough for one night so i will say good by.

My new job was not so bad tonight. It seem the computer program I was training on had some errors. So i know feel a lot better and i am done with the front desk part of the training I can now actually work on the front desk. Yeah.. I really was starting to feel really bad like they where going to say i was not the person for the job after all. After tonight i feel a lot better so I am happy tonight. latter.

  I have had four days of training so far and i am still not done with the training work book. They said it usually take a person 3 to 4 days i feel i am only half way their. I am very frustrated. I go back to work on sunday at 3pm for a full shift i hope i can move faster with the book. I will also be working the front desk. I feel a lot of pressure and i am wondering if this was the right choice. I guess  i will keep trying till the tell me it not working.

   Will i now have a job and a lot of catching up to do as far as bills go. It looks like i will get my power shut of on the 29th. If i am lucky i will be able to get some help with it. Funding dose not get to the charity organizations until the first of the mo. I here its first come first serve Just too many needed help now a days. 

   I went and singed the papers to have my sis’s cat put to sleep to day. So i’ve been feeling kinda low. Ok really low. 

   I took Chris’s cat to the vet today. He was not happy about putting her down. I not either really. I see a lot of love in her she wants to give. She just needs a home where she is the only cat. She also needs some one to be able to take care of her better then i can. 

  She seems not to be able to get to the box to pee. She has had accidents in her bed many times. She dose make it to the box to poop. The vet said it would be around 200 to take care of the wound and another 100 to run test on her bladder. Chris just spent about 500 on her dog. She just dose not have the money. I my self have no job or unemployment money coming in so i cant help. 

  I told Chris if she could afford the vet bill i would need to get a kennel to house her in. How fair would that be for her? I would take her out when i am home and up running a round. I just cant keep cleaning up after her. I have had to throw all my kitchen chairs away do to her issues. I am now washing the cushions on the rocking chair and sofa.  My cat Cotten wets on the stove when she is in the house during the night. I just cant do this any more. My home is so nasty right now. I clean something and I turn around and find I am right back to where i started. After a while  I quit trying to keep up with it all, and the things i should be keeping picked up are not getting done. I only get the cat messes cleaned.  Don’t get me wrong i love my cats and i wish i could take care of them but i cant. I just want to take care of my three and thats it. I really do not want more then two ever again. Its too much. If i had a cat room it would be different i think. May be? Then a gain may be not. 

   I have a 20 yr old sick cat on my hands today. I knew she was not feeling well for a couple of days. I had not realized how bad she was until this morn. I found her with blood on her tail end.

    It looks like it broke open over night. It has been draining ever since. She has how ever stated to eat once more. I made her some kitten formula she really like that. Not sure what to do with her. I have been thinking about putting her down. She dose not have a lot of control over her potting any more. It has been come quit a job cleaning up after her all the time. I also have 3 their cats to take care of. I just really feel guilty for thinking about putting her down. Not really sure what to do.  

   The neighbors has lost two of their cats and took one to the vet. They but that one down the vet told them it had been bitten by a spider. I am wondering if that is what has happing to her. I plan to take her to the human society. to see if they can help.